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Three Hundred Suns

by Annie Bethancourt

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1.
oh, what's a girl to do? my father says to write a love song breathe it into life and "he" will come to me my mother says i've got nice friends and means to ends, everyone deserves to be happy i'm not looking for a companion i want the arms made to enfold this body in but if i'm waiting for something that isn't true oh, what's a girl to do? my brother says it's unexpected late night conversations turned to kisses my friends they tell a different story battle scars, grim and gory, and near misses i'm just looking for a gentle heart one that still won't take my shit when i start but if i'm losing faith with each new passing moon oh, what's a girl to do? and if i meet a man and he's beautiful and he smells like sea and sand, and he's beautiful and i know he's not you, but he's beautiful oh, what's a girl to do? so i will try to write our love song breathe it into life so you will come to me i see us walking through the jungle stepping over stones set under hanging trees and when the night comes we are not afraid for our laughter echoes through the endless space returning as this song i sang to you and then i am waves, and you're captain of the sea and you're sailing your sweet body over me and we're sinking deeper into ocean's blue oh, what's a girl to do?
2.
November 04:22
november these sunny days are growing colder the trees are shaking their coats from their shoulders or didn't you know? oh, haven't you seen the signs? i told my friends you were getting closer my mother's been praying my father's been hopefuly i swore i was telling the truth don't make me a liar and every night when i fall into bed i'm staying on my side instead of filling all the places where your body will lie and i pray your safe and happy i pray the lord your soul to keep and as i drift to sleep, i'm whispering to the sky goodnight my sweet lover, oh goodnight my dear one! i hope the morning finds you in the sun i'll be so jealous of the rays sneaking through windowpanes to touch your face but i'll be with you before november comes may to december, january to june i've been wanting to share some of these months with you though i went away, and the winters always found me warm still, i thought of you like a letter sent something on it's way, that i was mean to hold and so i'm singing to you, through these northwest storms good night my sweet lover, oh goodnight my dear one! i hope the morning finds you in the sun and just like confetti leaves riding the wind to line your streets i'll be falling fast before november comes these sunny days are growing colder the trees are shaking their coats from their shoulders or didn't you know? oh, haven't you seen the signs?
3.
revolving door revolving door i know you won't disappoint your windowed soul shows the world as clear and i am a lonely child, no friends have i to join my games but when the nameless faces glow in glass they spin me 'round, i dance and laugh my mother says i can't live in dreams but wasn't it her dream to live on park place? and my father says ignorance is bliss and smart success is his, so i guess that's the case thousands of people walk by me every day no one is happy above manhattan way revolving door the busy people go about their days from box to box they race they spin in their walls to a dizzying pace so they will ride them like a carousel of broken hopes of "so it goes!" and as i watch the turn i wonder so do their mother say they can't live in dreams? 'cause they walk in waking sleep through sun and through rain do their fathers say ignorance is bliss? because if there's joy they're ignoring it do they think that's the same? thousands of people walk by me everyday no one is happy above manhattan way i see them going as they're marching in a line their eyes are downward, but their lips are singing in time "we are not happy, we are not happy" i am just a child, i am just a child! revolving door, i know you won't disappoint your windowed soul shows the world as clear
4.
Benjamin 04:57
benjamim he was a boy, 8 years old a shy smile and a kind and tender soul something different, he couldn't name it didn't matter: they knew it anyway knew he wasn't the same they waged war on the black asphalt he lay in clovers outside their army walls they said "why don't you come along?" but he was watching the clouds and singing songs they knew something was wrong "benjamin," they say "he acts kind of strange. He don't play the way the other boy's play" and when they've taken him for hostage with their killing games and guns he says "can you lay me under flowers when you are done?" days turn into months and years coming in with hope, and out with it now a man, he grows proud but with his freedom they say he speaks too loud and so they turn it around friendly voices, and nice words, too and he yearns to believe them, wouldn't you? follows them out of the crowded bar and then they drive to the country in their car where no one sees but the stars benjamin, he tries hard to be so brave! to sticks and stones, and the cruel words that people say and as they're stripping off his clothes to make a pile of what he was he's begging "why, oh, why?" and they're answering "because." morning comes with a blackbird's song does his mother sense something is wrong? light awakens the sleeping town his body casting a shadow on the ground with his head hanging down benjamin is made a scarecrow in the field a crown of thorns to crucify the way they feel and before life fades to blackness he sees swirling of his blood and thinks "what pretty patterns hatred makes on love!" he thinks "what pretty patterns hatred makes on love" he says "could you lay me under flowers when you are done?"
5.
why you shouldn't love me i've got a hole in my heart palms pressed to beating breast to try and fill it up still, you will watch your love seep out cup your hands and crouch down to catch what's left before it hits the ground that's why you shouldn't love me i've got a mind that's as wild as the sea and strong enough to swallow up the very thought of you and me it's so easy to drown when you're under already so save your life preserver to save a life that's worthy i'm as wild as the sea so don't try to tame me and you say "girl, you're like the ebb and flow of waves you come and go but each time move further away" oh, creepin' it at night don't make it right-- my morning's leave and that's why you shouldn't love me i've got these words that are as heavy as stones just watch 'em fall like cannonballs being shot out in a row and, oh, the sound, when they come down to connect with blood and bone i try to hide, cover my eyes but i hear it and it shows i've got these words as heavy as stones so i'm better off alone and you say "girl, you're fighting blindly in this rage just wave your white flag, you can salvage what remains" well, i'm good as down but still to proud to admit defeat and that's why you shouldn't love me i've got this hope that i can be made whole i think i've saved a place for peace to live in this soul but i've got these fears, so i'll just watch this thing unfold an epic's brave beginning or the saddest story every told and you say "girl, our stories written in the sand just try to be a good woman, i'll try to be a good man" but going in reverse to the very first is adam and eve and that's why you shouldn't love me that's why you shouldn't love me but oh, won't you please love me?
6.
Sailing on to You Last night I dreamed I slept in the crook of your arms but when I awoke I was just a rocking boat on the ocean at dawn I am sailing carefully through a sea of blinking eyes with compass, maps, and charts to plot when yours will look on mine The northwind tastes like freedom and the south the salty skin of a man and I'm praying for a sight of land There are days when the mere want of your face hits me like stormy gales Oh, could the darkness know just how lovely she'd glow if the moon it prevailed Still, I keep my sails at mast though sometimes I don't know what for I fear the wind won't come to carry me to your blessed shore But each red sinking sunset looks like hope swallowing despair so I'm following it there Here I can see all the beautiful colors as they hang on the clouds and welcome the stars I know one day we will watch them together but for now I pray for you that it's just as beautiful there where you are The sea brings joy and longing the wind, sorrow and peace the sky brings retribution and a branch from an olive tree So I will keep my eyes on the horizon and my face to the wide open blue as I'm sailing on to you
7.
dead men are heavier than broken hearts i saw you once before saw you when your lips were talking you had stopped outside my door i guess i thought your feet were through with walking and i felt a smile pull on my mouth and i felt hope for the first time and i knew you'd be mine so i went so far from home to start a new one with you but you soon began to roam saying "sugar, it's just no one can love a woman like i do" and when people asked "how can you be wife and man?" i told them we were in love and that that was enough but oh, my darling, we would get along if you'd just stay, stay, stay oh, my lover, i won't do you wrong if you just say you won't be gone 'cause when i awake and i don't see your face i try to count my blessings in the times we've kissed but all those nights when you're not by my side i tell myself "there's got to be something better than this" so I soon devised a plan so your cheating heart wouldn't stray with the sleeping pills in hand I spiked your whiskey and I waited for the darkness at the end of the day and when you fell into a deep sleep to your bedside I did creep and let my anger out with ropes, strong and true and when you woke I sang to you I said "Oh, my darling, I can see you want to leave why don't you try? Try, try! Oh, my lover, it used to be so easy to flee but you know I am done being the fool, you see and these chains that bind will link your heart to mine and you will learn to finish what you did start you can say I'm crazy, but you know I did believe When you swore to God in heaven to love me death 'till us part Oh, my darling, we will get along now that you'll stay--you have to stay And oh my lover I won't do you wrong now that I know you can't be gone And when you awake and you see my face you better count your blessings in the times we kiss and all those nights now that you are by my side you better tell me there couldn't be anything better than this I'm not sayin' that it's right, but you're here with me tonight and that's where I think a good husband should be Darling, don't you agree?
8.
The Birds of the Air When I was a child I talked like a child with a broken mouth and all my hope and faith and trust fell out Now uncertain futures start in a faltering heart and I have grown sullen and speechless next to crying stones But the birds of the air they don't tear at their wings so that things will be better the flowers in the fields don't steal their clothes they are robed in heather Taken have I the rode less traveled by and that has made all the difference as the path it fades and though I am lost and lonesome with my own thoughts I've got a blanket of stars and the earth a pillow to lay my weary head on For the birds of the air they don't tear at their wings so that things will be better the flowers in the fields don't steal their clothes they are robed in heather And what kind of Father would offer a snake when his child asked for fish of the sea? I know you love me better so give of your blood and your body and spirit, please The birds of the air they don't tear at their wings so that things will be better the flowers in the fields don't steal their clothes they are robed in heather And I will sing a new song I will sing it aloud, the one that you put in my soul I will sing a new song like the prophets who told the kings and queens of old The birds of the air they don't tear at their wings so that things will be better but things will be better things will be better.
9.
dust and bone from the rib i was made it was taken from your side and now i'll never leave it my beloved is mine before these arms could hold, i knew you when i was dust and bone with you i belong and with you i will stay my darling, how lovely our story! they'll say that one was made into two as new stars shone lover, come to me and lay your head on my beating heart and my body will be your bed you came from the earth breath turned into man and you named all the creatures on wind, sea, and land and through many thousand dreams you slept alone but now i will follow you into the night and our voices will ring out, together in time as we carve our haleilujah into sacred stone lover, come to me and lay your head on my beating heart and my body will be your bed lover, come to me, we'll ebb and flow with the tide that moves in the oceans of our souls the day that i leave you i won't be alone i'll be one of the many on streets lines with gold and i know someday you will find me in the crowd the time may go slowly, the time may go fast the time will return you to my arms at last and you'll hear me saying 'fore they put you in the ground lover come to me and lay your head on my beating heart and my body will be your bed lover come to me through dirt and stone let your spirit rise to my voice calling you home from the rib i was made it was taken from your side and now i'll never leave it my beloved is mine before these arms could hold, i knew you when i was dust and bone
10.
Yesterday the woods I was walking and I saw a man kneeling down at the water's edge then he bowed his head and he dove right in And as the ocean body's mighty arm, the river carried him along and as he passed me by his face was facing sky and he was singing: "Glory, haleilujah, I've got nothing and I've got everything I need" Well, I'm a wayward child, I know it's true but your miracles, I've seen a few so in the belly of a whale I'll keep my lamp lit And after fiery flames of red and gold to the lion's den, and the giant's sword, you will see my lips kiss the dirt whispering like a prayer: "Glory, haleilujah, I've got nothing and I've got everything I need" Oh, humble people, hold on to hope though kings build up walls climbing higher to a mightier fall from their fortresses and parapets There they'll sit surrounded by riches and crumbling stone lamenting their memories and crying their woes while you and me, on golden streets, our voices ring: "glory, glory, glory! Glory, haleilujah, we've got nothing and we've got everything we need"

credits

released December 12, 2009

Produced, Recorded, and Arranged by Dallas Kruse at Zion Studios in Santa Ana, CA
Mixed and Mastered by Dan Certa in Nashville, TN
(except The Birds of the Air and mixed and mastered by Dallas Kruse at Zion)

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Annie Bethancourt Portland, Oregon

Annie Bethancourt has been heralded as an angelic voice with “a lot of talent on her lips and at her fingertips.”

Now splitting her time between the firs of Portland, Oregon and the palm trees of Costa Rica, Bethancourt lives a life of wanderlust, and her music is, just like her scenery, an ever changing mixture of people and places, strange scenarios, and quirky tales.
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